TBC 2006

probably

edit: okay, so it's not, like, going to be FOREVER. just for now

nothing's wrong, nothing all that exciting is happening and Eve, I am NOT being incarcerated (thanks for the note of concern, though)

My new crush

Not only is he super cute ---- have you seen the cover of Details? But he just adopted a Puggle. I mean, come on, that is swoon-worthy!

we need to talk

Quite possibly the 4 most dreaded words in the English language, especially when uttered in terms of a budding relationship. Well boys and girls I was on the receiving end of those words last week and am still reeling. Once the vomiting and crying stopped I was kind of able to look at the situation rationally. Here's what happened.

Saturday night: dinner party, fabulous time, the "not just a torrid affair" line was delivered, happy, happy Kathryn

Sunday morning: slightly awkward, but to be expected, still a happy girl

Monday & Tuesday: spoke with him briefly both days, but was okay with that as I knew he was ridiculously busy (we work at the same place, I know what he's up to) and also knew we had plans for Friday so was not worried.

Wednesday morning: got an email from him "I'm not ignoring you, just completely consumed with work and it looks like I will be Friday and all weekend. Will keep you apprised." My reply: 'didn't think you were ignoring me, but thanks for the note. I appreciate it."

Wednesday night: He calls on his way home from work, around 8 "can I come over?" "sure, any particular reason?" (am not all that thrilled as have just come in from a run, am tired and hungry and have a headache) "yes, we have to talk" "about...." "last weekend" "oh, okay then"

He arrives, I basically flinch when he goes to kiss me, knowing what's coming, and he proceeds to tell me that he thought he was ready for this, but realizes now that he's not and wants to go back to where we were before the weekend, you know, just dating and doing stuff and taking it slow. He stayed for a few hours, long enough for me to know that I did not wnat to loose him, and then left. I did not cry in front of him, but sure made up for it once he was out the door.

What did the emotional and irrational Kathryn hear?? "The thought of being with you makes me physically sick".

I know that's not what he said, but that's what I heard.

I asked him why he had started this thing in the first place, it was all him, his idea, his pace, etc. I was (am) a willing participant, but totally followed his lead.

I wanted to see where it would go, was the response. I love spending time with you and doing things with you an being with you, it's just that I can't give you all of me right now (divorce, kids, work, etc.)

Well, babe, here it is. Here is where it has gone. Happy??

I guess I am the most dispensable stress at the moment.

So here we are, in relationship limbo, still friends, still technically "dating", I can't keep food down (though wine works), my house is SPOTLESS, I have redecorated my apartment (it looks fabulous). I don't regret it, I am just pissed as hell at him for making me act like this. It would a whole hell of a lot easier if I could just tell him to fuck right off and get the hell out of my life, but I can't.

So, I guess I'll wait. And give him whatever space and time he needs and trust that he will, in fact, come to his bloody senses sooner rather than later. The only thing I know for certain is that I want him in my life, and NOT as a "buddy".

On a happier note, I have a fun visitor arriving later this week for the weekend. I am sure there will be many amusing tales to tell (if I am permitted to do so ...).

Jill --- romantic comedy enough for you?? I am waiting for the comedy part.

Just when I thought I'd seen it all ....

Guy on a Crappy Tire variety "mountain bike", dressed in jeans, windbreaker and cowboy boots, talking on a cell phone, smoking a joint, all while riding on the sidewalk up Robson Street at lunch time.

Yes, I resisted the urge to hip-check him right in to traffic.

Barely.

not just a torrid affair

"I wanted to be sure that if we started this it wasn't just going to be a torrid affair. I'm in this for the long haul."

Now, isn't that what pretty much every woman wants to hear?

Friday randomness

Okay, I apologize for being so bloody boring -- you can stop emailing me and calling me to tell me this. The "problem" is that I am actually quite content at the moment and I guess my being content translates into my being boring. Sorry. In an attempt at reparation, I offer this:

1. One of our receptionists here at work wears the most God-awful perfume known to man. Actually, I don't think it's perfume at all, more like one of those tacky body sprays from the 80's. In fact, she probably bought it in the 80's, in bulk. Anyway, the smell makes me retch. Up to now this hasn't been such a huge problem because she worked 6 floors above me and I didn't have to be in her "zone" all that often. However, that all changed yesterday. She is now the receptionist down on this floor and is contained in the reception area between 2 doors --- which just serves to intensify the stink. If I complain, they will ban everyone from wearing anything scented and that's not fair. What to do, what to do. Suggestions welcome... (and we haven't even touched on her fashion sense, or lack thereof. Just think big time WT)

2. Arguing with me about what coffee I ordered is NOT A GOOD IDEA. I order the same damn thing every morning and have done so for the past 4 years. Arguing with a girl at 8:20 in the morning before she has had her caffeine is just plain STUPID. I know that I ordered a 4-shot venti Americano. everyone else at your store knows that's what I ordered. don't try and pawn off your lame-ass chai latte on me. I don't drink that. Ever. Tyler (old manager who abandoned us last week for a new store) I miss you!!!!

3. I get to have dinner tomorrow night at the non-date's house -- aside: I think we can now officially remove the "non" prefix from his name -- with another couple, his oldest friends. Now you might be thinking, isn't;t that lovely. Well, you see, he told me a few months ago when we were just starting with the whole non-dating thing that traditionally he went with them sailing in the Caribbean and the like on holidays pretty much every spring and summer. They told him this year that while he was always welcome, as were his children, any other women, though she would undoutedly be lovely, would not be. I don't think he remembers telling me this little tidbit of information. I won't remind him of it until after. Forewarned is forearmed and all that I guess. Will report back Monday if I survive.

Happy Friday!! (and I promise to try and be miserable and therefore more entertaining)

We've come a long way, baby

I was flipping through a book on cross-examination recently (I know, what a damned exciting life I lead) and came across this gem:

The Female Witness

There is an old view that women are impossible to cross-examine and so should be avoided. Myths have grown up over the years about the difficulty of cross-examining women and how any attempt to do so only leads to tragedy for your client's cause.

If the witness happens to be a woman, and at the close of her testimony in-chief it seems that she will be more than a match for the cross-examiner, it often works like a charm on the jury to practise upon her what may be styled the silent cross-examination. Rise suddenly as if you intend to cross-examine. The witness will turn a determined face toward you, preparatory to demolishing you with her first answer. This is the signal for you to hesitate a moment. Look her over good naturedly as if you were in doubt whether it would be worthwhile to question her - and sit down. It can be done by a good actor in such a manner to be equivalent to saying to the jury, "what's the use? She is only a woman."

This passage is from a wonderful text, Cross-Examination, The Art of the Advocate, by Roger E. Salhany, A Judge of the District Court of Ontario. Date? 1988. That's right, not 1888, 1988.

We can vote, right?? And own property, and hold down a job, etc.?? Just checking.

To flush or not to flush

that, dear readers, is the question.


I am getting rather sick of the Sea Monkeys so I am going to leave it up to anyone who cares enough to bother:

flush or not??

p.s. Paula & Sarah - I got your message, a non-dating update to follow (and it's GOOD)